My Ten Goals For December

This is a busy month for everyone – gift shopping, holiday parties, financial pressures, lots of tempting foods, holiday cards to send…the list seems endless.

Here are my December goals:

1.  Send holiday cards to my clients. I already ordered them, and they already arrived. Now I just need help addressing and sending them and writing personal notes. Same goes for the family holiday cards. It’s not so daunting for me to spend an hour or two writing notes, then asking my personal assistant to help me address them. That way I can spend my time working, exercising, or with my family.

2. Celebrate my daughter’s 2nd birthday without going crazy. I’m having 8 moms and kids over on a Tuesday morning for snacks and an art-oriented playdate. I already ordered the favors (Dora and Diego books) and sent out the invitations. Now all I need to do is make cupcakes and ask friends who are headed to Michaels anyway to look for fun art supplies. Plus, our au pair usually has good ideas about this stuff.

3. Not buy any clothes. Or accessories. Nothing for myself. I had a lot of fun at the Saks presale and absolutely love what I bought. Can I go an entire month without shopping? (Those of you who know me, don’t laugh! I have probably set this goal every month for the past 18 months – ever since I started fitting in my clothes after having Baby #2). And no exemptions for new running shoes (even though my ankles hurt). Can I do it? I feel like I need my readers to keep me honest on this one since last month I bought the juicy cashmere track suit, the chanel sunglasses, 3 pairs of shoes (already written about here), a Missoni top, Alice and Olivia top, and BCBG dress this month. Oh, and a Botkier handbag. But I swear, it really was all 85% off at the pre sale and I got an additional 10% off by opening a Saks card. (Which, by the way, I will pay off the second the bill arrives- Financial stability rule #1- don’t put anything on credit card you don’t have the cash to pay for immediately).

3. Find a few times a week to work out, even if just for 20 minutes or a home video if it’s too rainy to get outside.

4. Remain motivated with work, even though the law school admission cycle will be slowing down over the next 4-6 weeks.

5. Make time to spend with my friends – book clubs, holiday parties, etc.

6. Enjoy my parents and brother when they visit without worrying about the interruptions in my regular schedule and work life.

7. Find time each week to visit my friend who is finding her way back into life after losing her husband.

8. Get away for 2 nights with my husband and not delve into paranoia that something terrible will happen and I’ll never forgive myself for leaving the girls. (I go through this every time we leave them over night to do something fun – this time it’ll be a trip to San Francisco).

9. When I’m learning to make tamales and baking Christmas cookies with my two best friends, I will enjoy being part of their family’s traditions without being stressed about the fact that I really should be working.

10.  For every Hannukah present I bought the girls, I will spend time exploring it with them. I will read every book after they open it, dive into the art projects with them, tear open the games and teach them how to play, and invest my time in their joy. I will try very hard not to say, “I’ll be right there.” Instead, I will just be there.

Marital Breakthroughs: Better Late than Never

My husband and I have purchased three homes together (four if you count our timeshare in Maui).

For our first home and our second (current) home, I handled EVERYTHING. (This will not surprise any wife/mother reading this blog). That means, of course, the negotiations and the paperwork and the signatures and the inspection appointments and -oh,yes – those little things like getting boxes, and packing boxes, and labeling boxes and sending out adorable and timely little “We Moved” cards to everyone we know.

So, now, we are in escrow on our first legitimate “second home” or “vacation home” or whatever the luxury market calls it these days. Thanks to lower home prices and interest rates and a little gift from Grandma to spur us forward (we think she wants to stay there more often than we plan to…) we are buying a condo in Palm Springs.

Extraordinaire (is that what I should just call him here? Trying to at least give my family a little privacy… haven’t really invited B to even read this blog yet….) always wanted to buy a place in Palm Springs because he has wonderful childhood memories there and wants our girls to have that be a big part of their childhoods. It’s really sweet. And wonderful. So, I’m thrilled we’re able to do it because he has never asked for anything and I even have to beg him to buy himself new shoes once a year (but that’s a whole different discussion).

So, now, we’re in escrow. And since it’s my very busiest time at work, Brent is handling everything (except, don’t get too excited – there’s no real moving involved; we’re buying the place fully furnished). He is talking to brokers and mortgage lenders and inspectors and the Bureau of Indian Affairs and everybody…. I am showing up to sign on the dotted line and that’s it.

So, last night after trick-or-treating, B acknowledged how hard I must’ve worked on our first two (real!) moves, and that he’s really sorry he wasn’t more helpful because – shocking! – this is a lot of work!

This was something that bothered me a lot in 2003 when we bought the first house, and bothered me even more in 2005 when we bought this house but, to be honest, I hadn’t even thought of it since then except to tease him every so often. But now that he – on his own accord, without any prompting – apologized (!!!!!) I feel we had a true breakthrough. The only downside, of course, is it’s one less thing I can tease him about.

The Dangers of Jogging

I got this idea during a jog one drizzly Sunday morning. My husband (we’ll call him ‘B’ here) could see the stress overwhelming me and encouraged me to escape the craziness caused by our two preschool-aged daughters.

BTW, I call it a ‘jog’ because I am not one of those runner women. No half marathons, no ripped abs, no energy drinks for me. I just feel a little skinnier after 10 minutes of sweating.

That Sunday, it only took 10 minutes because an idea hit me: Here I am, balancing everything a woman in her 30s-40s is supposed to want to balance, and perhaps my thoughts, ideas, and coping strategies would be motivating to others.

So, here I am. The Danger of Jogging is that I made the decision to add something to my already filled plate.

I hope to address all of the aspects of my life that -in combination- make me so happy and feeling fulfilled and energetic everyday including:

• appreciating every possible moment with my young daughters
• enjoying a partnership, friendship and romance with my husband
• making a quarter of a million dollars a year working from home, on my own schedule
• serving as board chair of a non profit organization that fills my intellectual and political passions
• supportive and unconditional friendships and an active social life
• frivolity, including shopping and time for my favorite guilty pleasure TV shows and movies
• maintaining a healthy lifestyle emphasizing local organic produce and exercise
• cooking for my family at least 3-4 times a week (from scratch! Trader Joe’s does not count!)
• indulging in my knitting habit and lust for reading

So, what does all of this promise for our future together?

Recipes, book reviews, accounts of frustrated mommy moments, how to manage everything with a sense of humor and without getting frazzled, how you can contribute financially to your family while taking care of everyone’s every need AND taking care of yourself…..

So, I’ve titled this blog Mom with Money, and the point of starting it is to help you

MAKE MORE, BE MORE & DO MORE.

And it’s copyrighted so don’t even try to steal it….