Marital Breakthroughs: Better Late than Never

My husband and I have purchased three homes together (four if you count our timeshare in Maui).

For our first home and our second (current) home, I handled EVERYTHING. (This will not surprise any wife/mother reading this blog). That means, of course, the negotiations and the paperwork and the signatures and the inspection appointments and -oh,yes – those little things like getting boxes, and packing boxes, and labeling boxes and sending out adorable and timely little “We Moved” cards to everyone we know.

So, now, we are in escrow on our first legitimate “second home” or “vacation home” or whatever the luxury market calls it these days. Thanks to lower home prices and interest rates and a little gift from Grandma to spur us forward (we think she wants to stay there more often than we plan to…) we are buying a condo in Palm Springs.

Extraordinaire (is that what I should just call him here? Trying to at least give my family a little privacy… haven’t really invited B to even read this blog yet….) always wanted to buy a place in Palm Springs because he has wonderful childhood memories there and wants our girls to have that be a big part of their childhoods. It’s really sweet. And wonderful. So, I’m thrilled we’re able to do it because he has never asked for anything and I even have to beg him to buy himself new shoes once a year (but that’s a whole different discussion).

So, now, we’re in escrow. And since it’s my very busiest time at work, Brent is handling everything (except, don’t get too excited – there’s no real moving involved; we’re buying the place fully furnished). He is talking to brokers and mortgage lenders and inspectors and the Bureau of Indian Affairs and everybody…. I am showing up to sign on the dotted line and that’s it.

So, last night after trick-or-treating, B acknowledged how hard I must’ve worked on our first two (real!) moves, and that he’s really sorry he wasn’t more helpful because – shocking! – this is a lot of work!

This was something that bothered me a lot in 2003 when we bought the first house, and bothered me even more in 2005 when we bought this house but, to be honest, I hadn’t even thought of it since then except to tease him every so often. But now that he – on his own accord, without any prompting – apologized (!!!!!) I feel we had a true breakthrough. The only downside, of course, is it’s one less thing I can tease him about.


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